Happy New Year

So its been for ever since ive posted, yet its close to bed time so I will have to make this one short. The new year opened with a problamatic start. I will include details at a later date.....nothing I cant overcome though right?!? my gramdma had surgeory today I was nervous for her all day. Im happy to report she's well and being demanding as ever. More to come.....

Relationships are like that game twister. You are so busy focused on getting this date right or saying the right thing that you end up all twisted and fall. Ultimatly losing the game. I don't wanna play at relationships anymore. I want to be allowed to really enjoy spending what could be the rest of my life with someone who is right for me. Not saying the relationship I'm currently in wont work out to be exactly that. We have a great deal of potential. All the right framework is there but every things all jumbled up. It's like on of those puzzles with a ton of pieces and everyone looks alike so it takes a great amount of time and effort to put it together. Yeah that's actually a very accurate discription. Then there is the outside influence that says it's not worth it, or it's not meant to be. I'm so sick of being beat over the head with folks saying that to me. Didn't their mothers ever tell them if you don't have anything nice to say then don't say anything at all. I guess not........My emotions are all over the place and I can't seem to stay focused on anything. I wish I could find someone with all the answers and do whatever they say. Like a guidance counselor whose speciality is relationships.....

Back From Vacation

Well it is safe to say that I was defiantly missed by my baby while I was away. I can't believe some of the stuff that one pulls. My trip was fun too much drama though. Folks especially family to learn to love one and another. At least be grateful you have family to turn to. We take so much for granted especially our loved ones. I do wonder though why black families seem to have so much strife between them......

So I spent the day packing for my LA trip, I'm not at work extremely mad at myself for taking so long to pack. The funny thing is technically I'm not finished. I'm still super excited though finally a break from every day life. Hopefully I will get some well needed rest too. My brothers are always too much fun, they are so full of life, to be young lol. Congratulations Mr. and Mrs. Lacombe I'm so sorry I missed it. I know you were beautiful and handsome respectively. You two are proof that true love does exist. I can't wait for the lil' ones. Tinkerbell is gonna be jealous.

Have you ever been given everything you ever asked for? How about in a relationship? Well it's the most amazing experience in the world. As if you're floating on clouds nothing but sunshine and blue skies. Now think of what would happen if some dark force came along and snatched that cloud from under you. This is my current state. My cloud is gone! I can't bear to face this I wanna be a spectator at the movies, not the leading actress. As the events unfold it gets worse. The more I try to be happy the more grief I cause........and then there is you. I can't protect you from this as much as I want to. Yet I also can't give you the out you need. Not to mention you don't want it. I wish I could say we will be better once we make it through this, but that's the thing, there will never be an end. My judgement is cloudy too full of emotion. I wanna run from this so badly why am I being made to face this. I mean how can I be expected to give up the love of my life just like that. Everything is closing in. I'm trying to hold on keep fighting the good fight but sometimes one must succumb to the dark side.

Talented right!?!

I Miss You

I miss you like the earth with no atmosphere.

Like taking a breath with no air there.
Much like a mountain spring when I need a drink.

I miss you like the words I cannot find when I’m trying to speak.
I miss you more like the words to a song I can’t seem to remember.

I miss you like yesterday dreams about forever.

Like an empty chair in a crowded house.

Like walking in on the end of a conversation and not knowing what everyone is laughing about.
I miss you like a Valentine lost in the mail.

Like an ocean breeze moving not a single sail.

Like a comparison misses a metaphor;

like an unanswered knock at an open door.

Like how we are know and how we used to be before…Damn, I just miss you girl.

Hyland Hicks

R.I.P. Joker

So I went to see the latest batman movie. The joker was awesome hands down, he stole the show! Favorite lines were:

1. I'm like a dog chasing cars. I wouldn't know what to do with one if I caught it. I just do things.

2. Introduce a lil anarchy. Oh and by the way chaos is fair.

3. Look what I did to this city with a few barrels of gasoline and some bullets.

4. and lastly You think I would leave the fight for Gothams soul up to a hand to hand battle with you.....No no no you must always have an ace in the hole.

I can't rave enough about Heath Ledger as the Joker he's no Jack Nicholson but man he was amazing!