Friday, August 31, 2007

Dealing With Loss

This all started last Friday. I received a text message around eleven pm in which I was informed my play sister's mother had passed away. I have a thing about mothers because the women in my family are the back bone to my very existence. I was immediately grief stricken as if my own mother had passed. Next thing I know my phone is flying across the room and the flood of tears followed. My friend who watched this whole event unfold decided we needed to get some air so we went down to the marina. It's funny the calming effect water can have on a person. We sat in silence my heart heavy with grief the cool breeze from the ocean was my only comfort. When I felt the heaviness of sleep the follows a good cry we left the Marina and returned home. Upon our arrival I received the next blow. My younger sister's panicked voice was on the other line and at first I couldn't understand what she was trying to tell me. Then her words reached me "Grandma fell and cracked her head open. She is in the hospital getting stitches". I immediately started screaming No! This was all just a bad dream and I would wake up and no one would have passed away, grandma would be asleep safely in her bed where she was supposed to be. I fell off to sleep with a heavy heart. The next morning I awoke to face the horror that it was no dream the last twenty-four hours had actually happened. I don't deal with loss well even though death goes along with life I've never been able to accept it well. Then the third blow was struck yesterday I found out my play aunt had passed away. She lived alone and ended up having a stroke which ended her life. The worst part about this is her body was found yesterday but she had been dead over a week without anyone knowing. After this news I collapsed into my mother's arms. I've never felt such pain physically even though nothing physical happened to me. I know I will get through this but it's so hard. I will miss my play aunt immensely, and I can't help but feel if I would have stopped by to check on her maybe this wouldn't have happened. I will do any thing I can for my play sister. Her loss is so great, but so is the love around her. I feel so blessed that my grandmother is still with me and has begun to heal. I will cherish the time we have left together........It's true what they say Nothing Lasts Forever.