Thursday, July 12, 2007


If I could describe the way I feel right now it would be the image of a pit bull with his sharp teeth showing as he growls at his annoyance. I don't know if u know pits but trust me if there trained in a certain fashion it doesn't take much to annoy them. I have been so moody lately, and it's really affecting everyone. I can't help it though, I am officially pissed o-f-f! When I get like this only one person can bring me back to a normal state of mind and that's my grand mama! If the folks who have been having to deal with me could comment they would say well go see her a.s.a.p. And if u don't u might meet ur maker sooner than u were supposed to. In response to that I would say GRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!! That would at least be the initial response before a slew of curse words and threats. It's sad though cause I'm really just crying out for attention. I've been conditioned though that it's weak to call a friend and say comfort me. So instead I piss them all off purposely cause it ensures they will pay me attention at least long to ask what the hell is wrong with me!

Sunday, July 8, 2007

U make me remember him,
u really make me remember him.
The way we were and the way we are now.
How we began and how we ended.
Even your mannerisms match his.
I ask myself over and over,
How did I find him again.

U smile like him.
The way your eyes light up,
it's as if the sun is dancing off them.
Your lips part ever so slightly,
and the corners of your mouth indent seemingly forever.

U laugh like him.
The most contagious laughter I've ever known.
Especially when your cracking up.
It's borderline obnoxious.
But it's the best.
Especially if it's from a personal joke between us two.
We could laugh forever.

U show your anger like him.
It's never hard to tell when your upset.
There is a complete personality change within you.
It's like a care bear morphing into a wear wolf with a thirst for blood.
You are now on the hunt for your foe.
They better be ready because there is no stopping your recklessness.

U hurt me the same as he does.
Never on purpose, you care far too much for that.
Nevertheless I'm wounded regularly.
Maybe if I saw myself the way you see me things would be easier.
I have very little self-worth and this pisses you off.
Hopefully you wont give up on me.
I need you now more than ever.

U have my heart the same as he does.
I don't think I could live without you.
Your a very special part of me,
That's why I'm so sensitive,
and hide everything from you.
I'm scarred if you really get to know all there is to know
You will no longer want to know me.
Then you'll suffer from the same symptoms I do daily.

U remind me of him I swear you do.
I never thought we could be so close
On the surface one would think were nothing alike.
But underneath it all we are one in the same.
Your my friend same as he,
I love you both dearly.

With This Ring I Thee Wed

Weddings are such beautiful ceremonies...

This weekend I attended my older sister's best friend wedding and it was something to see. The wedding definitely didn't start off traditionally. The groom's mother held everything up with a arrival that was almost an hour behind schedule. She then boasted this was intentional because the union of her son and his chosen bride she wanted nothing to do with. She was purposely trying to start arguments with anyone who was trying to make the wedding a success. To make a long story short she was successful in upsetting the bride so much that she was ready to call the wedding off. The groom was standing at the alter the entire time and was clueless about the situation taking place. The bridal party and us "lady's" who were there for support surrounded the bride and tried to do damage control as quickly as possible.

The groom's grandmother saved the day with these words:
"Baby today is your day and don't let nobody take that from you.
We are all here to celebrate the love you have found with my grandson, not his mother.
You go out there with your head held high and you marry your soul mate.
Your love has stood the test of time,
including two beautiful children.
Baby go out there and marry the man god sent to you".
The bride was still shaken up but the ceremony was back on. The bride took advice given by her grandmother-n-law and held her head high as she glided down the isle to her groom's awaiting side. She looked like a beautiful princess. I've never seen her look so awe strikingly beautiful. It wasn't the dress or the elaborate hair and make up that made her so beautiful. It was the warmth radiating from her heart, it gave her this supernatural glow. The groom didn't seem quite as excited as the bride but I think it was just nerves. Even though he missed all the drama at the wedding he knew his mother's point of view about his choice of bride. When he said his vows though you could tell he was speaking from the heart.
The best part of the wedding for me had to be when the bride had a dance with their six year old son. Their dance didn't leave a dry eye in the room. It was so special to see that bond between not only mother and child but a mother and her first born. The bride's son didn't look nervous or anything he just looked up into his mother's eyes and smiled. Then came the groom's dance with the newlywed's youngest child. He danced with their 10 month old daughter to Ribbon in the Sky by Stevie Wonder. It was so special she cooed and smiled the entire dance.

Anyone who knows me knows how scarred of marriage I am. Even though I seen many successful marriages I'm not sure if I have what it takes to be married and uphold everything that marriage stands for.Lately though I'm starting to get over that fear. I've begun leaning towards the feeling that if you truly love someone then marriage is going to be a celebration of that love. The Reverend at the wedding said it best:
"Getting married doesn't make you husband and wife,
it's the actions you take now that you married that will make or break your marriage.
To truly be wed to one another this young couple will have to put the time and effort into building a union that is solid,
and will transcend space and time".

I found the Reverends final piece of advice to be interesting. He closed saying,
"keep everybody out yo business.
When your unhappy with your mate don't go tellin all your friends.
That is the quickest way to put a crack in the solid foundation your trying to build".

This was so interesting to me because another reverend said almost the exact same thing at my cousin's wedding earlier this year. I wonder how many marriages and relationships in general fall apart because folks can communicate with everyone else but each other?!??!!!