Something New

First off let me say even though the title of this post is awfully cliche it's appropriate. I've come to the realization that living in the past is not living at all. Yet I hold the past so dearly because I'm comfortable there. This so called comfort must be disrupted. I have been given the opportunity by a truly special person to live for today. Actually enjoy life as it occurs not remembering times when it was good. I must admit I'm nervous it's been awhile since I ventured out into the real world. I'm putting myself out there so you better be worth it. Just Playing!

My Affliction

I think of you constantly
Sometimes I write your name over and over again
Finally my hands cramp from my tireless chore
and then I read my work aloud
line by line
line by line

You have taken me over
I'm so encompassed by you.
Hours go by like seconds
Months go by like weeks.
All spent on daydreaming
and thinking of you.

I've never known how truly precious time is
until I spent time with you.
It's funny how the smallest act
seems so grand if it's committed by you.

I find myself smiling
from thoughts of you.
The times we've shared plague me.
....and yes plague is the right word.
because even though I feel all these things for you
You conceal your thoughts
your feelings
your emotion from me

Maybe one day I will earn your trust
and then you to will suffer my
affliction.

Guess Who's Back

Happy New Year and all that jazz. I know I'm late but I've been in a pretty isolated state. One in which I've reached out to family and friends more so than ever. I've learned how truly dependent I am on my loved ones. I used up their time so selfishly because I couldn't get enough. The love and protection that exude from them is all I was ever searching for. It's funny that all I needed was right there all along, but the lifestyle I chose to live pushed me further and further from them.

So far in the new year I've found new love which is always a fun expirence. I've got it all....the butterflies in the stomach, the girlish laughter, hours of day dreaming, and tons of cuddling.

Lastly I would like to share my new years resolution:

To be the best friend I can be to those who call me friend. Yes that means to all of you have complained that I never have time for you; that has been adressed and you will become tired of the endless phone calls you will recieve from me. I can never get back the time we lost and this I truly regret. Lets enjoy 08 together.