Have you ever been given everything you ever asked for? How about in a relationship? Well it's the most amazing experience in the world. As if you're floating on clouds nothing but sunshine and blue skies. Now think of what would happen if some dark force came along and snatched that cloud from under you. This is my current state. My cloud is gone! I can't bear to face this I wanna be a spectator at the movies, not the leading actress. As the events unfold it gets worse. The more I try to be happy the more grief I cause........and then there is you. I can't protect you from this as much as I want to. Yet I also can't give you the out you need. Not to mention you don't want it. I wish I could say we will be better once we make it through this, but that's the thing, there will never be an end. My judgement is cloudy too full of emotion. I wanna run from this so badly why am I being made to face this. I mean how can I be expected to give up the love of my life just like that. Everything is closing in. I'm trying to hold on keep fighting the good fight but sometimes one must succumb to the dark side.