I used to find self examination something I performed regularly and with great ease. You could catch me staring in the mirror for hours on end. There was once a time in years past when I truly enjoyed the person I was inside and out. Now every time I pass a mirror I might glance into it, not really wanting to engage in the task of looking at myself. Looking at the person I've become. I'm so full of contradictions that it kills me. I find myself fighting the real me constantly. Whether it's dumbing myself down cause "not every man can handle a woman so opinionated". Or biting my tongue cause I don't want to offend someone. The worst is seeing someone being harmed and because the "in crowd" has outcasted them, that person no longer has feelings. It's now okay to ostracize "the weak".
I have never intentionally changed my behavior to fit in or to be popular, yet I have changed for reasons I'm still not proud of. Like not being so aggressive when I engage in a competitive game with a male so his ego wont be harmed. Or not talking with my own vernacular cause it's been deemed ghetto by those who don't understand it. Those in power over those types of things. How in the world did I loose myself so fast......
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2 comments:
I told you! I've given you the virus!!! Am never gonna forgive myself for this... i want you to stay lively and a loving spirit the way you truly are... youth should carry on despite the age. you should stay that way forever and not bite into the apple carrying the sins of man...
I keep trying to tell you I already had the virus. You just get to see its effects because I trust u so!.....Am I going to have to sugar coat what I say now?
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